Blue Haven (Sunshine & Shadow Book 1) Read online

  Lex pulled back just enough to press his lips on April’s. It was gentle, yet intense. Their lips moved against one another, powerfully but softly, transporting April to another world. Their breathing was ragged as their tongues danced in a fiery heat. The rest of the world seemed to disappear.

  Desire ignited inside her. It was a spicy, powerful combination that sent waves of passion crashing over both of them. The kisses grew more urgent. As their lips pulled apart for a moment, a gentle breeze fluttered through the trees, whipping April’s hair around her face and bringing her back to earth. Their breathing came in short, desperate gasps.

  Lex reached for her hand, brushing the strand of hair off her cheek as it slid ever so lightly past her ear. His thumb caressed her earlobe; his strong fingers supporting the back of her head. He leaned in and suggestively placed his lips on hers. She could feel him inhale quickly as she surprised him by pulling his body closer. She melted into his embrace as he held her tightly against him, feeling the race of their hearts as one.

  April reached for Lex’s hand. She wandered slowly back towards the camp, leading him.

  Was she really about to do this? Was she really about to ask this guy that she had only just met to spend the night with her?

  But it felt right. When she thought about parting ways with Lex and sleeping alone, a tight, uneasy feeling developed in her stomach. That was all the sign she needed.

  Stepping through the thick canvas, she held it open for Lex. He stepped through and stood on one side of the small tent. April lowered herself onto the foot of the bed and gestured for him to sit as well. He lay back against the pillows and heaved a sigh. They sat that way for a while, silently. He had his eyes closed and the soft, white light from the moon dripped into the tent, making him look like a painting. April’s eyes travelled down his body, admiring the way he laid there. Like a sculpture, he seemed too good to be real. She reached for his hand and stroked his palm. Looking at his face, she met his eyes.

  “I suppose I should go to my tent.” Lex made no move to get up.

  April continued to trail her fingertips over his hand, feeling each of his knuckles, letting her nails roll across his skin. She let her fingers play up his forearm. The muscles tensed as she reached the crease of his elbow and she assumed he was ticklish there, so she moved back down. She drew small patterns on the back of his hand.

  “I guess your dad will be up soon,” he said, letting his eyes fall shut again.

  April nodded and said, “Yes.”

  “And I wouldn’t want him to catch me.”

  She felt a tremble run through him. “No.”

  “So maybe I should just ...”

  “Stay,” she said. He reached out and pulled her on top of him, wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her close. Then he rolled, pinned her to the bed and bent down to touch her lips. The kiss was hesitant, both trying to find the boundaries of spending their first night together. The fire was slow burning and April allowed herself to be swept up in the sensations. She drifted in Lex’s kiss, comfortable and effortless, like the dried leaf getting picked up by the wind. There was something different about this kiss. The passion was deep.

  Lex’s lips moved onto her neck and she watched the moon through a gap in the tent wall over his shoulder.

  Seeing the moon almost grounded April and doubt began to fill her mind. She braced herself against Lex by placing her hands on his ribcage, trying not to notice how firm his stomach was. He felt her resistance and pulled away, looking into her eyes.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Wait. Are we making a mistake here? Moving too fast?”

  Lex leaned down again and starting kissing along her collarbone. “Too fast?” He murmured into her skin. “I can kiss you slower if you’d like.”

  She tried not to laugh and pushed against him again. This time he obliged, groaning and rolling onto his back beside her.

  “Sorry,” she muttered.

  Lex stroked his hand down her arm, found her hand and brought it to his mouth. He propped himself up on his elbow and kissed the back of her wrist, keeping his eyes on hers.

  “Don’t apologize. Let’s talk.”

  Suddenly April had no words. Especially with Lex’s intense, green gaze on her, illuminated by the rising sun shining through the tent wall. She looked away.

  “I don’t want to do anything we might regret tomorrow,” she finally said.

  She felt him sigh, though he tried to hide it.

  “Why would we regret it tomorrow?”

  “Well because we don’t know each other. And we’re so different Lex.”

  “So?” Lex began running his lips from April’s wrist to her elbow as she spoke. She tried to concentrate and block out the sensation of his lips on her skin.

  “This can’t work. We’re from completely different worlds. You live in the middle of L.A., and I’m just a regular girl from Canada, who grew up on a ranch and only goes to the city to buy pallets of grain for the horses. And bullets.”

  Lex chuckled, his breath tickling her.

  “Plus, you’re...you. Whenever you look at me, my heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest, but you could have anyone you want, like models and actresses, and I’m...just ordinary.”

  Lex froze. April held her breath.

  Slowly, agonizingly, he raised his lips from her skin and looked away from her with sadness in his eyes.

  April could see him shaking.

  He spoke so quietly that even in the silence of the darkness, she could barely hear him. “Do you honestly believe that?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  “You think when you smile I don’t feel something?” He looked up at her. She was surprised to see his eyes were full of reserved anger. “The first time you said my name, I didn’t know anything could hit me so hard! I don’t even really know you! All I know is that when I’m with you, I’m happy, and when we’re apart, I wonder where you are. It’s never been like that before.” Lex stood and started to pace. “I didn’t see anything wrong with what I was doing, how I was living, until I came here! Because finally, I couldn’t pretend my life was perfect anymore. This...this is perfect.” He gripped both of April’s hands. Subconsciously, she leaned away from him, refusing to believe his words.

  His eyes were full of controlled sadness and she knew the anger was his defense mechanism, like it was hers.

  “April, I have no idea what is happening here. All I know of you is what you’ve told me in the last 24 hours. We’re basically strangers. But for some reason I feel more comfortable around you than people I’ve known my entire life.”

  April nodded. “I feel the same way.”

  She smiled and squeezed his hand. She tried to stop herself but couldn’t.

  “I don’t know what this is, what I’m feeling right now, and I know it’s wrong. But I...I don’t know, it feels so right. Doesn’t it?” he looked at her, willing her to feel it too.

  “It does,” she whispered.

  Their eyes met and he didn’t say anything for a while. Then his lips twitched and his face broke into a lopsided grin.

  “We don’t have to go too fast. I’m here because I want to be with you, not for any other reason.”

  His thumb rubbed soothing circles on the back of April’s hand and she caught her breath when he started leaning closer. She could feel his breath on her face before she realized she was going to pass out if she didn’t inhale soon. Letting air fill her lungs, she was, again, struck dumb by his perfume on her tongue. It was like the sweetest candy; delicious and forbidden.

  The tip of his nose brushed hers and she closed her eyes. She tipped her head back slightly and their lips touched.

  She traced his collarbone with her fingertip. “You can still stay, though.”

  Lex reached up and pulled her down so she rested on his chest. She let her hands run over his rib cage, sitting up slightly. “I’d like nothing more than to fall asleep with you right ...” He squee
zed her tight for a second, “... here.”

  She kissed him again and they slipped under the thin duvet. April laid her head back against his chest. His breathing moved her in a gentle rhythm. He stroked her hair and she cuddled closer to him. Kissing her forehead with soft lips, he said, “Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight,” April replied.

  “I really hope I don’t get caught leaving here in the morning.”

  “I’ll distract him for you.”

  Lex kissed her forehead. “Sounds like a plan.”

  April smiled.

  “Just for the record,” he murmured, in the darkness. “You will never be ordinary to me.”

  April fell asleep that night wrapped in Lex’s arms and his heavy, heavenly scent.

  Chapter 4

  The next morning, April was awake before any of the other staff or her father. She scrambled from beneath the stiff sheets they took on the Out-Treks and hurried to get ready. Lex watched her from the bed. He propped himself up on one arm and let the cover drop to his waist. His upper body was bare and April wondered when he had removed his t-shirt.

  Outside, the morning was still. The embers from the fire pit sent smoke to the sky with almost no angle. There was no wind. April smiled at the morning dew hanging on the new blades of grass and breathed in as deeply as she could. Birds hopped from tree branch to tree branch, singing their welcoming song to the rest of the world and in the distance a horse whinnied.

  This was her home and she didn't think she could love anything more. April wandered slowly down to the horse corral, wrapping her wool sweater tight around her shoulders. It was day two.

  The horses were lined at the fence when April approached. She called out to them as she worked her way down the hill to the river. She said each of their names out loud, some seeming to answer her greeting with a well-timed nicker. Chinook hung back, like he usually did, fully content to wait his turn; he knew April would never forget about him. She threw flakes of hay over the fence in a long line to keep the horses amused and filled the grain buckets in the neighbouring corral. The horses got a hard feed every morning when they were off the ranch. She poured the grain into the cut up pieces of tire. A few horses got bored with the hay and wandered to the gate. Memphis, the horse April had chosen for Lex after the Triumph fiasco, played with the latch.

  He was a tall, leggy Thoroughbred X. His full mane was as black as ink but his golden body shone in the sunlight. For someone who didn't know how to ride, or someone who was a bit nervous, he was an absolute sweetheart. April cooed to him to distract him from nibbling the gate latch.

  “Alright, alright,” she said as she opened the gate and let the herd pour through.

  April loved watching the pecking order of the horses when they ate their grain. One horse would wander up to another, ears back and eyes wide and that horse would simply step away. It was the technique that April tried to mimic in the round pen. She hopped up on the fence and watched the herd interact with each other.

  From up at camp, April could hear voices and she knew the rest of the crew would have surfaced by now. Kip emerged slowly over the crest of the hill and waved to her. She could see his smile from a mile away. She waved back.

  Suddenly all the horses spooked at the same time and bolted to the far side of the corral, away from the river. Kip started shouting and April looked around, confused. Time seemed to stand still. She could still hear the horses’ terrified snorts and Kip’s terrified shouts but something was different, almost like her hearing was muted, or focused on something else. Then she heard it.

  A twig snapped in the bushes down by the river banks just on the other side of the corral. April almost didn't want to look. Agonizingly slowly, she turned her head.

  Standing by the shrubs was a large grey wolf. He swung his huge head in April’s direction and stared at her, his intense eyes round and black. He looked at her like she was prey, no better than a deer.

  From around the bushes, three more wolves emerged. One was black with light grey hairs dotted in his dark fur. He was flanked by a pale yellow animal. Smaller than the others but still larger than your average dog. It was clear that the beige wolf was younger as well; he hung back, as if waiting for his superiors to make the first move. They began to move along the river bank, earning several disgruntled snorts from the horses. The last newcomer was dark grey, much like the first one. He, however, had a shorter muzzle and looked more like a border collie than a wolf.

  This was a very bad place for April to be. The river rushed behind her, blocking her backwards retreat, and the corral fences held her on both sides. She was stuck.

  The horses hooves pounded the ground in angst and someone back at camp was shouting. It sounded like Lex.

  A shot echoed across the valley. Everyone froze.

  The wolves turned as one, darted back into the thick of the forest, and disappeared. There was no sound as they moved through the brush. Nature’s finest hunters. She stared into the woods for what seemed like an eternity. Silence all around her, just the sound of her breath—dreamlike. She could feel her pulse surging through her palms. She was in shock.

  Kip appeared beside her, wrapped his arms around her and ushered her up the hill towards camp. April’s dad ran down, followed by Lex. Her dad carried his gun. April noticed his grip seemed poised, ready to fire again. His keen eyes searched the forest for another sign of the wolves.

  Day three passed in a blur. April massaged Chinook’s withers as they rode along the wide stretches of pasture and through the low-hanging branches of the dense forest. She avoided conversation, still unsure about the feelings that were swirling away inside her. She felt changed. But she felt calm about it, like the alteration was welcome.

  Lex rode ahead of her, laughing at Gretchen bouncing in her saddle with every step the horse took. His lean back swayed. April bit her lip. Something about her feelings were primal, instinct. She felt like a lioness, making the lion prove himself before she would give herself to him.

  “You okay?” Kip came up behind her.

  April nodded. “Just relaxing.”

  “So…what happened last night?”

  “Not much. You know I’m not that kind of girl.” She grinned at him.

  He nodded. “That’s probably for the best. He’s leaving soon anyway.”

  Kip spurred Charger on and loped away from April, leaving her pondering.

  She had forgotten about that. Lex had to leave…soon. He couldn’t stay at Blue Haven with her. He would go back to L.A. And there was nothing she could do about it.

  After they drove the cattle into the holding corrals at the next camp, April busied herself checking the saddles for needed repairs. She found a few small tears that would have lasted the season, but spent her evening repairing them anyway. She didn’t want to see Lex. She didn’t want to feel the pull. She didn’t want to feel the ache in her stomach.

  Her attempts at hiding were thwarted and Lex walked around the corner of the wagon and found her sitting on the ground, surrounded by saddles.

  “What are you doing?”

  She looked up. “Fixing saddles.”

  “Are you hungry?”

  “No, thanks.”

  “April…” Lex sat beside her. “Is everything okay? I feel like you were avoiding me today.”

  “No, I…I just can’t get over the fact that you’re leaving.”

  “We always knew I would be leaving, eventually.”

  She nodded. “I think I just convinced myself you wouldn’t.”

  “April, I have to…California is my home. I mean, this is great,” He gestured all around them, “But I belong in L.A.”

  “And I belong here,” she said; her voice a whisper.

  “Just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy each others company now…while we are together.”

  April chewed her lip. “I just…I don’t know if I can do it. It seems like it’ll just make goodbye that much harder.”

  “I know.”


  Their eyes met and he shifted closer to her. She rested her head on his shoulder, feeling him kiss her forehead.

  “April…I don’t want to miss a second with you. Knowing that I have to leave just makes me more determined to hold you now.” He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. “…Kiss you now.”

  She tilted her face up and their lips touched, soft and tender.

  “Will you visit?” she asked.

  “Only if you do.”

  April smiled. “Promise.”

  The group drove the cattle to the far pasture on the fourth day. That night, April and Lex sat by the creek and let their feet hang in the cool water, washing off the dirt from the day’s ride. The moon was rising high into the sky and the stars looked like spotlights against the blackness; they were so bright. In the distance a hawk called out to the night and a small animal rustled in the bushes on the far side of the river. April watched the water hurry past them, carrying leaves and twigs from up river.

  “Beautiful out here, don’t ya think?” Lex said, kissing April’s hand.

  “I can’t believe we will be back at the ranch tomorrow night.”

  “Feels like we only just got out here, doesn’t it?”

  April nodded. She breathed deeply. Even the ranch didn’t smell this fresh, this free.

  Their eyes met and Lex nodded head towards the camp behind them, nestled amongst the trees.

  April’s stomach jumped, her belly tightening. She closed her eyes and desire sparked inside her. She took Lex’s hand and led him up to the camp.

  They cautiously moved between the tents and the firepit, peering into the shadows to make sure everyone else was sound asleep. April had to admit; sneaking around made things seem even more exciting.

  The light was dim inside the tent. Lex helped April down to the bed and leaned carefully over her, pressing his body against hers. April felt the adoration, the desire, the near desperate longing to be closer. She knew Lex felt it too. She knew what was behind that cocky smile, and it made her want him even more. It was a deep kiss, so soft that she could barely feel the brush of his lips; fiery and passionate—and yet cool. It felt like it would never end.